shares her kampf of how a poor girl from became Delgada, the most feared mercenary scientific genius and of .

Delgada capturing Agent K

I grew up poor in , a working class town that grew wealthy around me. Friends getting priced out made me the new girl in my own damn neighborhood. Those private school bitches tried hurting me, but had no idea who I was.

At six years old I burned down a small factory just to see what would happen. Two firemen got seriously injured, one for life. Somehow everyone thought my goody two-shoes older brother did it. The landlord was happy since she was about to hire an arsonist.

Mom had dramatic bipolar beating/apology cycles. She almost killed me when I ten or eleven for asking if she was jealous because I was younger and prettier. She could never make me cry, accept her fake apologies, or love her.

Dad was the neighborhood fix-it man. His work never looked right, but functioned well and everyone loved him. None of the men seemed to mind him banging their wives. Anyway, yuppie homeowners hiring professionals who actually knew what they were doing drove my father to an early grave. I planned to kill them and everything they love. That's a tale for another time.

After the funeral and Mom withered in uselessness, I started looking for fictional and historical role models to focus my rage with their collective intelligence, sneakiness, and sexuality. Some of my badass bitches:

Villanelle from Killing Eve
Villanelle is impulsive, and her attachment to Polastri is an exploitable liability. But her kills and fashion sense are amazing.
Annie J. Easley
Annie J. Easley must've aggravated her era's brogrammers with her expertise in NASA-level rocket science and stunning good looks.
Micaela Bastidas Puyucahua
Micaela Bastidas Puyucahua defended Peru from foreign invaders with military genius, resourcefulness, and ruthlessness
Crystal Yu as Madame Ching in Doctor Who story Legend of the Sea Devils
Madame Ching came up from street hustler to the most feared pirate leader of the South China Sea.

Doing this research in public libraries brought me to the attention of the CIA. My psych evaluations showed what they called a desirable "moral flexibility." Skills that inspired an After School Special about me helped multiple campaigns of espionage and regime change. My flair with technology, wit (and if we're being honest, my stunning good looks), made me a valuable asset to the government, Fortune 500 corporations, and international crime families.

My ambitions eventually outgrew the Agency. Why undermine democratically elected governments when you can destroy entire planets? Anyone can kill, but doing so on a grand scale with your victim's own ideas is intoxicating! So far I've accomplished a lot with multiple prices on my head and being on the Intergalactic Police most wanted list for almost a decade. The best is yet to come!

About that so-called "Agent K"

Karen's family was the only other one who stayed in . She was my BFF since preschool, but by high school was treating me like a broken toy she could fix. Then there was our knock-down cafeteria brawl over . Now she's a fat-assed, sanctimonious tool for her short-sighted definition of "good." Stabbing her with her own hypocrisy is one of my greatest joys.

Delgada burning a factory at six years old
Inadvertent arsonist at six years old
Delgada at a shooting range
"Who's the psycho now, Brad?"
Delgada torturing Agent K
Karen and I playfully enjoying our reunion