Agent K

Until recently, I was pursuing a PhD in computer science while living with my dad. Intelligence and go-for-the-jugular wit were highly rewarded in our home. When my brother came out as trans, dad's instant response was, "How soon can we start belittling your opinions and paying you less?"

Mom was a poet, musician and standup comic who loved to party. Dad was the romantic but practical technologist who paid for everything. Her house parties on the map! Lotta laughs, music, booze, drugs, and performers we had no idea would be famous. They were anathema to dad's peace-and-quiet vibe. Sometimes he'd disappear for weeks.

Rehab to Role Models

My sisters Carla and Lea (then-brother Lee-Lee) couldn't figure out our parent's marriage. They held hands, napped together, but also fought loud and avoided each other for months. We all rebelled from this normalized schizophrenia in our own ways. I buried myself in books, partied with older boys, and nearly drank myself to death at 16. Thank god that cop owed my dad a favor. Among the many role models I discovered while in rehab:

I didn't know it at the time, but science, fashion, and action would be the template of my adult life. With everything against her, Easley took old-school geek boys to school every damn day. Glover's photo shoot inspired me to look smart and sexy AF. Joanna was an absolutely fabulous Time Lord adventuress.

About that so-called "Delgada"

No point in bringing up her birth name here. Since preschool we conspired to give our parents early cardiac arrests. God, you should've seen her get out of a speeding ticket or pass a bouncer! By high school we drifted. She started hacking into data systems of governments and organized crime families, disappearing for longer and longer periods. By senior year she was gone.

Now the little sadist is on a number of most-wanted lists as the boney assed, skunk-haired mercenary calling herself "Delgada."